Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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