I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
All the doctor said was why
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
