my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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