Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
