Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
