We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
