But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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