I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
