New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
