sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize