Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
