shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize