Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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