You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
