she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
