True but thats because hes a fetus.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
COCAINE IS GR8
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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