i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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