My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
