you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
