Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize