I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize