is your mom at the bar?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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