so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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