cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
