idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
