But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
