Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
