when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
