it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
