its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
