he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
