I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize