Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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