I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How does one acquire holy water?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
