I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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