dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
