I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
