Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
