shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
