I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
