that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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