Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
