Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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