very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
