I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
