My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
