We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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