We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
