shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
