I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize