dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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