I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
