He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
