He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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