I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Randomize
