dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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