I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
