Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
