You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
