$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
