It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
