i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
