i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
