i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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