Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i believe in u and ur pee
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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