Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
