if only i could text you this smell
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
