The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
