I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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